Let’s get one thing straight: toxic workplaces don’t come with neon warning signs. They hide behind “high-pressure environments” and “tough leadership,” gaslighting you into believing the problem is you. I know because I’ve been there. If you’re stuck in a cycle of doubt, burnout, or justifying the unjustifiable, keep reading. Trust me, you’re not crazy, and you’re not alone.
1. Call It What It Is
Toxic workplaces thrive on ambiguity. For years, I told myself, “It’s just a tough culture” or “They’re under pressure.” But let’s be clear: a bully isn’t “stressed,” gaslighting isn’t “miscommunication,” and silence isn’t “just the way it is.” The day I named what was happening—This is toxic. This is wrong—the fog lifted. Labelling dysfunction is the first step to clarity. Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
2. Gaslighting is Their Superpower
Toxic environments excel at eroding self-trust. “Are you sure that happened?” “You’re being dramatic.” Sound familiar? It’s not you; it’s manipulation. When I stopped explaining myself and started trusting my instincts, the truth became clear: the problem wasn’t me—it was them. Here’s the kicker: the moment you stop engaging, you reclaim your power.
3. I Became My Own Toxic Boss
This one hit the hardest. After years of enduring toxic leadership, I didn’t just survive—I internalised it. I became the boss who micromanaged myself, ignored my own burnout, and worked harder to prove my worth. Escaping wasn’t just about leaving them; it was about unlearning harmful patterns. Freedom started when I decided to treat myself better than they ever did.
If you’re stuck in it right now, here’s what I wish someone had told me:
You don’t need their permission to leave, their apology to heal, or their validation to reclaim your worth. You only need to decide: I deserve better and then begin to look at what your options are. Not easy, but totally do-able.
Thinking about it, this isn’t just about toxic workplaces—it’s about breaking free from any toxic relationship, anywhere.
I see YOU.
– Lee
Lee Mayimele 