All this talk about Mother’s Day has me feeling anxious, I must admit. My heart-wound has only just begun to form a scab and I have been taking good care of it.
My approach to its healing has been quite simple, actually. Like a good mother, I have looked primarily at INFECTION PREVENTION.
For starters, I took a conscious decision that I needed to keep the environment sterile and germ free. And while I am under no illusiions that one cannot engineer every social environment or interpersonal encounter completely (particularly with family), I knew that it was indeed possible to focus on “access control”. So, I did. Quite intuitively, I have been terribly circumspect about who I engage with, what I share, and how I could avoid people with energies that felt harsh to my sensitive film. The daily “disinfectant” through meditation and “fresh dressing” through prayer have helped tremendously.
Secondly, I focused my attention on creating a HEALING ENVIRONMENT for the heart-wound. Once more, led purely by my instinct, I began to draw on my good memories of my mother and to allow that positive energy to flow into my home, into my work and into my relationship with my own children. I have also played, laugh, rationed screen time and increased my reading time. I began to seek out real experiences, people, food and music that made me smile. And sure enough, the smiles came.
I am, of course, always mindful that with this sort of wound, research tells us that there is no prescribed time frame for healing completely. In fact, research tells us that there isn’t really a “cure” at all. Like diabetes perhaps, one simply learns to “manage” the beast and one learns to adapt one’s lifestyle in order to lead a productive life.
So, adapting I am.
And it would seem that the wound is indeed closing up.
And the scab will fall off.
And all that will remain is the scar.
How I will relate to the scar, is of course another story entirely, but I will tell you this honestly: there IS always light at the end of the proverbial tunnel after a loss. Yes, even when you think your entire world has gone black forever.
You will one day be able to reflect on your scar and know for sure that every single day is a GIFT. (After all, no scar is able to form on that which is not alive). And like me, you will also be able to CELEBRATE not only on Mothers Day, but every single day that you are alive.
Aluta continua, as they say. May you never take a day for granted.
© A Heart Full of Stories, 2017